Register for the Blytheville ProSolo
Last year, in these same electrons SoloMatters "busted" all the myths surround the Blytheville, Arkansas Pro Solo (SoloMatters - 5toGo: Blytheville ProSolo). In doing so, we unraveled a conspiracy only the Illuminati are capable of to favor the only elite soloists making the trek to Blytheville, Arkansas. Right away the conspiracy starts to reveal itself: Arkansas, Arrrrrr-Kansas. This state was founded by overland pirates thinking they'd found Kansas. A pirates favorite hat: the tricorne, shaped like a triangle. What's the shape of a cone? A triangle. How many letters are in "SEB" and "PRO"? AND how many class competition sessions are there in a Pro and how many Challenge sessions. 3. Just like a triangle...
So, don your tinfoil tricorne and follow along as we unravel the rest of A Blytheville Conspiracy:
First, the site is shaped like a triangle: generally bounded by Dakota Ave (9 letters!), Iowa Street (9 letters!) and "Salem Street Taxiway" (18 letters!). The grip is akin to a "3rd surface" - not as grippy as pure concrete, and not as slick as sealed/aged asphalt, so FWD cars should expect to tripod on course. While information coming from our deep cover Soloist "insider" (whom we can't reveal so they don't end up disappeared) is sparse, it sounds like there may be a practice or test and tune COURSE available, in addition to the official timing lights.
AND speaking of the course, the side by side layout is a triangle - with competitors launching from a taxiway onto the parking ramp and making turns in opposite directions. After turning around, they return towards each other. Like a duel. Know who liked duels? Pirates. Apparently, Grady Wood and Jay Jackson dueled over them as the the co-designers and event chairs. We have an insider. The insider also sent evidence that most competitors will see top speeds around 54 to 60 mph with averages between 39 and 45 mph and times mostly longer than 51 seconds, and 6 speeds beware, you might need 3rd gear!
Third, attendance has been "low"... or has it? Setting aside numbers or even that it's the first event of the year, or half the country is ice racing and the other half has just finished up the previous year's award ceremony, take a look at the results from the last three years. If that's not a list of the who's who among Solo's Illuminati, then you've clearly not been paying attention. But why do THEY keep showing up? Our insider has a theory: with the "low" attendance of common folk, they have a chance to scoop up some need points to qualify for the Finale while gearing up for the new year. With the "no-index unless it's needed 2015 PRO SOLO rule" points are increasingly available.
Fourth, the weather is one of three states: temperate Midwestern spring sun, cold cruel rain, or the unmanageable thunder-fog-snow. The latter clearly delivered by the chem-trail-jets that call Blytheville International Airport (international? REEEAALLY?) for the lluminati to capitalize on their hours of secret testing and built in adjustments.
Fifth, our insider has been unable to elucidate the details of A/The social plans, but knowing that the Blytheville residence provide basic distraction and cover. Spotty information suggests "THE" BBQ Caterer (who does he really work for...) will return. Also, while on-site shenanigans may be limited, certain adult oriented activities may or may not be scheduled for the Illuminati at "The Olympian" (suspect name?) or the "Holiday Inn Bar" (sounds like a Pirate grog stop). As soon as we have the details we will divulge them.
Finally (wait is this 6th point??) the only way to combat this Illuminati gathering is to attend, en masse, to confirm the conspiracy or to render their power over the Pro Solo Community negligible. There are several establishments for accommodations, including the staff appointed hotel:
Comfort Inn: 1510 E Main St. Blytheville, AR 72315 870-763-0900
http://www.comfortinn.com/hotel-blytheville-arkansas-AR173
Let them know you are with the SCCA – Group code FPS
We look forward to your assistance March 7th and 8th, 2015 , in Blytheville, AR to thoroughly investigate the rumors and allegations swirling around this event and turn back the Illuminati tide...
